OLIVER KINGLSEY STEFANSKI- 6LBS 6OZ 07/17/17 2:45PM and here's how it all started......
my due date was 07/19, and he was estimated rather early than late! He had dropped considerably two weeks before and we were waiting impatiently...I started feeling cramps on and off throughout my third trimester, every time we went to the doctor, we would scrutinize his face hoping that perhaps he'll magically say, "tonight is the night!" but instead we kept getting "it could be tonight like it could be in three weeks..." so, there you had it, for three weeks at least, every little cramps or what seemed to be a contraction, I had this ah ha moment and Kyle would just look at me and pretty much not expect anything to happen as he had gotten excited more than once from my what-seemed-to-be an indication that baby was coming...and apparently Marylin Monroe had more chance walking through our door than that baby coming out...*sigh*
six days before my due date, on our doctor visit, he told me that even though my little meatloaf had dropped, that my cervix was showing no signs of labor...he proposed that if nothing was moving I should get induced a day before my due date (which I thought was a little odd but that was what his schedule was offering) or at the latest, 6 days after my due date as he didn't want to risk the baby's health.
There's different schools of thought on this, if you have a good doctor that is willing to let you go over 40 weeks, do it...In my case I didn't want to risk it.
That same day I got home and was really annoyed, the thought of getting induced wasn't the best option...I was terrified of it and I really wanted to be able to give my body a chance. I wanted to have a story to tell my son, I wanted to know when and how he was going to decide to be apart of this crazy world and most importantly I didn't want to risk stressing the baby and ending up with a C-section. (Inducing is generally safe, I just preferred to not have to go through it.)
the funny and wild thing about all this, is Kyle had a very important business trip, he was not going to miss the birth under any circumstances but the trip was scheduled a week after my due date and with Meatloaf not wanting to come out, plus my latest option of induction was being two days before his trip...I had a lot of thinking to do. That's when I called my doula, Lacey, who is amazing, fun, supportive and really understanding! I told her what the doctor was suggesting and she said that I could do a few things to lose up my cervix and hopefully go into labor before induction or kyle's trip...long story short, I had spicy food, walked for miles, relaxed and opened my hips on the yoga ball, used primrose oil and drank a lot of raspberry tea. Like she said "you can do all those things but if baby is not ready, he's just not ready but it will ease up labor."
You may wonder, besides all these other reasons, why I wanted to get in labor...well I was ready! he was heavy! I was tired and in pain! That night I started getting little cramps or contractions, I couldn't really tell, I was confused and...knock knock? - no one's home.
On the third day, I had finally obsessively finished his little nursery, I was so proud, I snapped a picture and posted it on Instagram. I went to get my nails done and had a lunch with a girlfriend, and boy was I on fire! I felt like I had drank 10 cups of coffee!
Around 7pm, I deliciously made a little bubble bath with candles, soaking in the warm water and chatting with kyle sitting on the floor, we were really starting to consider to get induced on the 18th, two days before my due date and two days from that day! I was tired, and I was just-- well over it. It's hard to explain now but my pregnancy hadn't been easy...I started tearing up at not knowing what to do ...when all of a sudden I felt a little something...it was different than a cramp and had a beginning and an end. OMG, a contraction! Kyle looked at me with that look, you know, oh-here-we-go-again...(one thing about me is I tend to be a little dramatic, haha...so I can lose believability.)
Three hours went by, it was about 10pm and I texted my doula, Lacey, letting her know that it seemed like I was having mellow contractions every 20 minutes. Nothing I couldn't handle. I was super nonchalant about it, no biggie, yo! she said to keep track of them, I probably had a long way to go, to go to bed and if it was labor, I shouldn't worry because it will definitely wake me up....Alrighty then!
I passed out and woke up around 2am, in more pain than I was, they were still 15 minutes apart and I was way more uncomfortable but I texted Lacey again, playing it cool as I just didn't believe that anything was really happening, went to the restroom and went back to bed. A few minutes later, I tossed and turn to get comfortable when I felt a little water..."uh oh! it's my water!...no Julie...no, don't be that girl again, you just peed...it's impossible." Meanwhile, Kyle is sleeping and I figured I'd only wake him up if something major is happening.
4:30am comes and aaaaahhh, that did not feel good!!!! a contraction woke me up and I waited till the second one, they were now 8 minutes apart. I texted Lacey again and she said to breathe and try to relax, she would only come if they are 5 to 6 minutes apart.
I went downstairs and thought to myself, good Lord, this hurts! I was messaging with a girlfriend back in France who luckily was going about her day with time difference, who was reassuring me as I was just crying profusely on the yoga ball. All of a sudden, in about 20 minutes the contractions went from 8 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart and again, I was just thinking that I had to be paranoid that they were so close together...how was that even possible I kept asking myself!I probably wasn't counting them right, I probably was being a cry baby...I texted Lacey again, finally being a little more assertive on the fact that I'm in fucking pain! that's when she texted back "wait! can you talk during the contractions???" and I replied....NO...that I couldn't even stand up and that's when she decided to rush to me.
I remember waking Kyle up, very gently and just saying "baby, it's time..." and I walked away as I was having another contraction and I didn't want to freak him out. He came downstairs thinking that we probably had a long way to go, when I was screaming on the couch and he started helping me breathe holding my hands. That's when Lacey walked in on me throwing up in the trash, shaking..."hmmm...that looks like active labor! we gotta go!" and at that moment did I realize...it's happening! he's coming! I was ready but terrified and excited and just My oh MY! This is it......and we said wouldn’t It be funny if he’s born on 7-17-17! Especially that Kyle has a history with the number 7 and has it even tattooed on him! The craziest part is his due date was the 19th which I have it tattooed on me as my mom was born on the 19th and passed away on the 19th. Everything was connected in a crazy way and we just couldn’t wait for him.....
...TO BE CONTINUED...
to contact my doula if you are looking for one! she also does sleep training, here's her website:
for the beautiful pictures, photographer Alissa is wonderful:
To shop my nursery:
Playground LOVE: Pottery barn KIDS
curtains, lamp and zebra rug: Target
I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC WITH AN OPINION AND A WITTY MOUTH. I CREATED THIS BLOG TO BE ABLE TO BE OPEN WITH MY EXPERIENCES, ABOUT LIFE & OTHER LITTLE DISASTERS. THE MAIN REASON WHY I DID, WAS TO HELP PEOPLE OUT THERE. EVEN IF I CAN HELP ONE PERSON RELATE OR FEEL BETTER, THAT'S WONDERFUL. THIS BLOG IS A BIBLE OF MY EXPERIENCES BUT ALSO PEOPLE AROUND ME THAT I HAVE WITNESSED GOING THROUGH CERTAIN THINGS, THAT HELPED ME UNDERSTAND MYSELF BETTER AND THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING, KNOWLEDGE, BEING GRATEFUL, GIVING BACK AND NEVER LETTING YOUR SUFFERING DEFINE YOU. IT IS NOW ALSO A GUIDE ON PREGNANCY & PARENTING AS I GO ON WITH MY LITTLE OLIVER.
Oh, the third...final...trimester...how I don't miss you, well maybe a little, I miss your tiny feet wiggling inside of my tummy but I'm finally writing this post staring at your itty face sleeping on my breastfeeding pillow, which by the way is a must have! but we'll get to that later...
the reason why I'm so late on this is A) I was so hormonal...there was no "blogging" for me to tell you how miserable I was and you're honestly in luck that I didn't put you through that. B) I've literally had no time since he's been born...but right now he's in a milk coma, so typing with one hand is becoming a thing! sorry, rephrase that- everything with one hand is a thing...
My Third trimester, picture a whale sitting around and getting bigger by the day...everything was so intense, raw and exhausting. my morning sickness had come back and I had epically failed quite a few times to not throw up in public...guess what? you only come out of it stronger! I had gotten so big, I kept getting the very insensitive question "are you having twins?" or my favorite was "wow...you're ready to pop!" when I still had a good way to go! and the winner was "he's going to be a really big baby!"...I mean who says these things? hasn't it crossed one's mind that it's completely inappropriate and perhaps hurtful? pregnant women don't want to hear that! they really don't...it's hard enough to lose yourself, your body and grow uncontrollably to what you think your baby has challenged you "how big can get mommy? woohoo" my point is "when are you due?"and "how are you feeling?" will do just fine! you can acknowledge a woman's pregnancy and if she's not, oops, then take away that burrito out of her mouth! --no lady, no!
My third trimester was defined by impatience, tiredness, heaviness, nesting maniac, hormozilla and a lot of peeing. He had dropped pretty early on,which was causing a lot of back pain and a peeing frenzy that blew my mind! Everyday I'd take a bath for immense relief and talk to him, being so impatient to meet him and meditate on my labor and reassuring myself that I was strong enough, that him and I will get through it, he'll come out happy as a clam, healthy, singing "La Marseillaise" (he is half French) and without hurting mommy. I would look around me and couldn't believe that on that mysterious day, the day that would change my life forever, he'll be here. What an insane concept, life! it's really beautiful I tell ya! :)
My biggest advice, the one that I received a lot, is sleep if you can...rest...it is difficult to get comfortable and I had to wake up every two hours to pee which honestly prepares you for what is to come once baby is here!
Sure you want to get everything ready, and I was an absolute witch when it came to that, I had to get everything DONE! it brought me some relief and some sanity even though it seemed like complete craziness, so make sure you get some help, explain that you need that to happen for your new forever role as a mother and enjoy all the other little things. Pregnancy is a funny, insane, emotional, loving, painful, exciting experience!
it was not until the last week that I had insane energy! they call it "restless legs" which is a sign that baby is coming! The day that I went into labor, I actually felt like I had drank 10 cups of coffee! and it was the day that I had finally finished the nursery and snapped a picture for my Instagram...but sit tight, as requested by many, I will write about my labor in the next post coming up and hopefully a momma out there can feel better about hers coming! it helped me so much reading about other mothers experience :)
Now that I look back, and that I see the little angel face in front of me, I realize how it wasn't as bad as I thought It was...or maybe I simply already forgot, cause that's just easier too. Whatever people tell you, "it's all so worth it" is the absolute truth...there's nothing more true, valid and real than that statement when you stare in your little miracle's eyes and he holds onto your finger.
I look at my stretch marks, and they're the evidence he had grown into a healthy baby. I look at my uneven breast and it's a sign he's eating all the good milk my body is miraculously producing for him. I look at my kangaroo pouch and I reminisce him being exactly right there sitting and waiting to be in my arms. I look at the extra 60 lbs I gained on the scale and well....drop mic, I got nothing for you on that one...*giggles*...and yes, it's still all worth it <3
"I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC WITH AN OPINION AND A WITTY MOUTH. I CREATED THIS BLOG TO BE ABLE TO BE OPEN WITH MY EXPERIENCES, ABOUT LIFE & OTHER LITTLE DISASTERS. THE MAIN REASON WHY I DID, WAS TO HELP PEOPLE OUT THERE. EVEN IF I CAN HELP ONE PERSON RELATE OR FEEL BETTER, THAT'S WONDERFUL. THIS BLOG IS A BIBLE OF MY EXPERIENCES BUT ALSO PEOPLE AROUND ME THAT I HAVE WITNESSED GOING THROUGH CERTAIN THINGS, THAT HELPED ME UNDERSTAND MYSELF BETTER AND THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING, KNOWLEDGE, BEING GRATEFUL, GIVING BACK AND NEVER LETTING YOUR SUFFERING DEFINE YOU. IT IS NOW ALSO A GUIDE ON PREGNANCY & PARENTING AS I GO ON WITH MY LITTLE OLIVER."