Hey Dadas! listen we love you...we really do! We know how hard it is to handle us at our best and at our worst...Yes, Thanks Marylin for giving a chance to all women to be a complete shit show and make men unfairly feel bad for our crazy A**...Although, motherhood...yes, we get a little crazy...but also,here's why:
*this post was made with love*
1. "Honey, the baby pooped!"
what you'd like to say: "congratulations, you know how to wipe your butt don't you? Well, same concept."
what you end up saying: "oh, wait, hold on, it's okay, don't panic, breathe...I'll take him"
2. "geez what an exhausting day, I was stuck in traffic for two hours"
what you'd like to say: "Oh yeah, that must be exhausting, I was stuck under a sleeping baby for three hours, cried half of the day, puked on me twice, had to hold him partially all day and that's only about XYZ lbs in my arms of dead weight, pulled my hair, punched my boobs, threw carrots all over the carpet, pooped everywhere and the cat pissed on your shorts.......wait we don't own a cat...."
What you end up saying: "two hours?! what is this world doing to you bunny?!
3. "What are we having for dinner tonight?"
what you'd like to say: "we're not eating."
what you end up saying: "we're not eating."
4. Have you seen my jacket?
what you'd like to say: "you know that's a great question, probably under the apparently invisible pile of diapers on the floor that I've been too tired to pick up."
what you end up saying: "it's gotta be somewhere in here"
5. "I really didn't sleep well last night."
what you'd like to say: That's interesting because all six times I woke up to shove a boob in your kid's mouth, I could've sworn seeing you in deep sleep."
What you end up saying: "I'll make you a nice cup of coffee, at least one of us will be awake."
6. "It's crazy, while you were out, he didn't even cry once! I don't know why you're so overwhelmed"
what you'd like to say: "try more than two hours next time."
What you end up saying: "that's awesome, we can do this more often!"
7. "just take a bubble bath."
what you'd like to say: "I haven't showered in three days and you need to eat dinner, the kid needs a bath, feed, sleep and hopefully so will I one day"
what you end up saying: "it's ok, I rather sit down, eat and watch a movie with you."
With love & humor,